15 Random Celebrity Novels: PART TWO



As I mentioned before, I have no qualms with any publisher trying to cash in on a celebrity who has written (or "written") a novel. That said, here is PART TWO of my list of random celebrity novels, which I present to you in no particular order, as I haven't actually read any of them.


6. Shopgirl (2001)

by Steve Martin


Steve Martin is an American actor, comedian, musician, author, playwright, and producer. He first became famous in 1970 as a stand-up comic, before branching off into movies, such as ¡Three Amigos! and The Jerk .


Mirabelle Buttersfield is a young, lonely, depressed, Vermont transplant named . She sells expensive evening gloves nobody ever buys at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills and spends her evenings watching television with her two cats. She attempts to forge a relationship with middle-aged, womanizing, Seattle millionaire Ray Porter while being pursued by socially inept and unambitious slacker Jeremy.


7. Modelland (2011)

by Tyra Banks


Tyra Banks is an American actress, author, television personality, and former model.


Tookie De La Crème, a young, awkward looking girl, is invited to attend the legendary Modelland for the chance to become an Intoxibella. Along the way, she meets a plus-sized girl named Dylan, a 4'7" girl named Shiraz, and an albino girl named Piper. Together they form a strong bond as they face the trials and tribulations of Modelland.


8. Sock (2004)

by Penn Jillette


Penn Jillette is an illusionist, comedian, musician, and actor. He is best known for his work with fellow magician Teller in the team Penn & Teller.


Twisting the buddy cop story upside down and inside out, Penn Jillette has created the most distinctive narrator to come along in fiction in many years: a sock monkey called Dickie. The sock monkey belongs to a New York City police diver who discovers the body of an old lover in the murky waters of the Hudson River and sets off with her best friend to find her killer.


9. L.A. Candy (2010)

by Lauren Conrad


Lauren Conrad is a television personality and fashion designer. In 2004, Conrad came to prominence after being cast in the reality television series Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County and later, in 2006, she starred in the spin-off series The Hills.


After high school, two best friends move to Los Angeles hoping to start "a new and amazing life," but their existence is anything but glamorous. Jane is an intern for a famous event planner and Scarlett is a freshman at U.S.C. However, things change quickly when a TV producer asks them to be in a new reality series along with Madison and Gaby, following their lives as they try to make it in L.A.


10. Those Who Trespass (2004)

by Bill O'Reilly


Bill O'Reilly is a television host, syndicated columnist, and political commentator. He is the host of the political commentary program The O'Reilly Factor on the Fox News Channel.


Tommy O'Malley, a tough New York detective who has his own ideas about how to keep the streets clean, is investigating a string of murders against the major players of Global News Network (GNN) and miscellaneous others involved in the television news industry. His work—and life—is complicated by the persistence of a charming young reporter named Ashley Van Buren. O'Malley looks like a terrific source to her, and he has to admit she looks pretty good herself.

10 Questions for... Laila Lucent

I first became aware of Laila Lucent, author of The Yoga Stripper: A Las Vegas Memoir of Sex, Drugs and Namaste, a few weeks when back I was listening to Penn's Sunday School, which is the podcast of Penn Jillette (who is, of course, one half of the iconic magic duo Penn & Teller)Lucent grew up in rural Ohio, before taking off to Brazil when she was 16 to be a high school exchange student for a year.

She studied at The Ohio State University and, upon graduating, she headed to Las Vegas where she decided to be professionally topless. Since publishing her memoir, Lucent has moved to Los Angeles where, along with teaching yoga (certified to teach Envision Yoga and Vinyasa Flow), she is pursuing a career as a television writer.

Without further ado, here are 10 questions for Laila Lucent...

1. What would you like readers to know about The Yoga Stripper?

'The Yoga Stripper' is an inside look at my two years working at the best strip club in Las Vegas, and probably the most famous strip club in the world, the Spearmint Rhino. The book is 100% true (unless it's my parents asking), really funny and has a lot of heart. The take away message of 'The Yoga Stripper' is that women are so much more powerful and so much more in control than most of them realize, and that everyone should have sex with the damn lights on!

2. What drove you to write The Yoga Stripper?

Honestly, I just always wanted to try working as a stripper. And I was right. It was awesome! I figured writing a book about stripping would make me appear more responsible than I actually am. Also, I met some of the most amazing women of my life working at Spearmint Rhino, and I wanted the world to know that they exist. 'The Yoga Stripper' was written for them.

3. How did you end being interviewed on Penn's Sunday School?

Penn Jillette has been such a terrific influence on my life. I can't even begin to explain how much he's meant to me, how much he's taught me, and how many disgusting jokes he's told me. Through weird coincidence, Penn's wonderful wife, Emily, was one of my very first friends in Las Vegas. Through Emily, I became friends with Penn (lucky girl, I know), and I started going to his weekly Movie Night at his really awesome house, The Slammer. Every week, a group of us (sometimes I was the only girl) got together and ate really terrible food, watched and made fun of a movie together. Everyone at Movie Night knew I was writing a book, and when I finally got it out, Penn was wonderful enough to have me on Penn's Sunday School to promote it.

4. Who are some writers that have affected your storytelling sensibilities?

I love Ken Kesey, author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. In fact, my stripper name was Kesey. I'm working towards getting employed as a television writer, and I really admire the careers of Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling. Hopefully, I'll get to meet them one day. Also, anyone who is serious about writing a worthwhile story should read 'Story: Style, Structure, Substance, and the Principles of Screenwriting' by Robert McKee.

5. What methods and strategies have you employed in order to promote both yourself as an author, as well as The Yoga Stripper?

I still have a long way to go on this. I've been really slacking on marketing (which is at least as important as what you've written for book sales). I started a Twitter account and I badgered my friends on Facebook to buy my book. I gave copies of 'The Yoga Stripper' away at Improv Vegas's weekly gathering of comedy kids, and at my going away party to all of my friends. Amazon's KDP Select program has definitely helped boost sales. And finally, I recommend reading and applying the advice of the book How to Make, Market and Sell Ebooks by Jason Matthews. He has amazingly useful (and free) marketing advice.

6. Writing a book is such a complex exercise that I imagine no two authors do it exactly the same. Can you summarize your process for me?

You just gotta write. I know there are a million distractions and excuses, but you just gotta write or, unfortunately, you're not a writer. I'd go to the coffee shop down the street from my apartment and purposefully deprive myself of the Internet. I figured out my theme, and then I sorted through all of my crazy Vegas stories to figure out which ones best made the point I wanted to make. Thanks to stripping, I had my weeks free, and that gave me the time I needed to grind it out. The editing was the hardest part. I started with the big stuff, cutting out entire chapters, and then I got down to the minutia (ie. "Is 'awhile' one word or two? Better Google it.")

7. Do you find there to be any underlining similarities between yoga, stripping, and writing?

Those are the three things that I can convince people to pay me to do. Yay! And they're all things that I get a big kick out of. They've all helped shape me into the person I am today. I love all three.

8. Where do you see your writing career five years from now?

I'll be writing for a hit television show in L.A., poised to become a head writer on the next show I work on. Or I'll be rereading this article and crying myself to sleep while lamenting what a miserable idiot failure I am. It might not work out how I want it to, but that'll be okay, too, because success is but a symptom of the disease. I'm in this game to create art that makes me feel proud and that I love. Wherever and however I end up doing that, I'll be happy.

9. What are you currently working on?

Penn's Sunday School cohost (and about the coolest guy ever!), Matt Donnelly, informed me that all of his friends writing for television shows have two original pilots written as well as two spec scripts. I have a lot to work on. I'm writing a spec script for the TV show 'Girls' and most likely one for 'The Mindy Project.' Then an original kind of 'Entourage'-esque show about stripping in Las Vegas, and a sitcom about these guys that live together in college.

10. What advice would you give to an aspiring author who hopes to see their work published one day?

Write a book and publish it. That's all. The only thing stopping you is you. Ding dong, the publishing gate keepers are dead! When I asked him over a year ago if I should try and publish 'The Yoga Stripper' through a traditional publisher or self-publish, Penn told me, "All of the cool kids are self-publishing." Also, if at all possible, get your friends to help you! My friends Lana Hines Strong and Ravi Krishnaney edited my book. Ashley Ellwood Photography staged a cover intervention with me on my original cover. She and Chris Fore Photography designed my amazing cover. My friend, NYT best selling author Larry "Ratso" Sloman, gave me writing advice and helped me to write a better introduction chapter. Be nice to people, and they'll want to help you succeed.

I’d like to thank Laila Lucent for spending some time here on Inside Martin. If you’d like to learn more about Laila and her work, you can check out her website, The Yoga Stripper. You can also check her out on Facebook and follow her on Twitter. Buy The Yoga Stripper: A Las Vegas Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Namaste on Amazon: